Sophie's Quotations

Sophie's Quotations are some of the quotations made by Sophie Kaczynski throughout Season One and Season Two of 2 Broke Girls.

Season 1

“	Sophie: "What is meaning of this horrible horrible note?" Caroline: "Oh, you're not a man?" Sophie: "What kind of question is this? Do i look like a man?" Max: "No,but you clump around up there like a man"	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Sophie: First day in my new home and I’m given this horrible horrible note, with threats! Caroline: Well, they’re not actually threats. Sophie: (reads the note) I will gut you like a hog.	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Sophie: Why would I want to come in with your horrible horrible …… ooh! Cupcake Land ooh!	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Caroline: That’s Max and I’m Caroline. You are? Sophie: Sophie Kaczynski Caroline: Is that Polish accent I’m detecting? Sophie: Yes. Caroline: I visited Warsaw once. I love it. Sophie: Oh, cause I hate it. Rats & Pimps	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Sophie: Why have you not yet offered me cupcake? It’s the least thing you can do after horrible horrible note. Caroline: Oh sure, chocolate or vanilla? Sophie: Yes.	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Caroline: Sorry about the note can we start ov….. You have the Chanel allure lip gloss? Sophie: Yeah. Mmm you know the Chanel? Caroline: Know? Love! I can’t afford it anymore. Sophie: Oh take one! I got handfuls in my bag. Caroline: Really! Oh that’s nice. Sophie: (gives Caroline a lip gloss) Both: Ahhh…	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Han: Welcome to Williamsburg diner. How many in your party? Sophie: What kind of question is this? One, I am my own party.	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Caroline: Are you ready to order? Sophie: What kind of question is this? Did you see this horrible horrible menu?	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Sophie: I am building summer house by lake in Poland. You wanna see? Caroline: Oh you have pictures? Sophie: No I have house! (takes out her house model from her bag)	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Sophie: You called me prostitute! Caroline: Actually, It’s kind of a compliment that we thought you were stunning enough that men would pay to have sex with you. Sophie: (smiles) this is true. Come on in!	”
—And the Upstairs Neighbor

“	Earl: Well, hello there! (bows) Sophie: Such a gentleman (and then looks at Han) and what a well behaved boy!	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Sophie: (hits Oleg's penis with her magazine) You're gonna act like a dog I'll treat you like a dog.	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Caroline: Well here we are! Sophie: Why is this big news?	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Sophie: I smoked for seven years and then quit when I was 12. I didn't want to die of lung cancer before I was a teenager.	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Caroline: You think I’m holding Max back? Sophie: What kind of question is this? Yes.	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Caroline: Sophie, I’m so sorry that’s awful, Well that must have been hard I admire your courage. Sophie: What are you, a counselor from UNICEF?	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Sophie: You know what? I know he’s still alive because his manhood is knocking on my lady door.	”
—And the Blind Spot

“	Sophie: Oh Earl you make me smile. I wish we had black people in Poland when I was growing up.	”
—And the Broken Hearts

“	Caroline: Sophie you rent a town car? Sophie: Yes. But only when it’s raining because you know, I got hair extensions & nail extensions, and you know I... I’m too extended to walk.	”
—And the Broken Hearts

“	Oleg: I want you to come clean. Sophie: Oh, you cannot get me to come. Oleg: Oh, I can get you to come. Sophie: No, I can no longer come anymore. Oleg: So, No one can get you to come? Sophie: Well, some people can get me to come….. Just not you Oleg: Hard to get, I like it.	”
—And the Broken Hearts

“	Oleg: I have a valentine gift I want to give to you Sophie: Oh Hepatitis C?	”
—And the Broken Hearts

Season 2

“	Sophie: "Hey Max! Chilly Outside, Nipples everywhere"	”
—And the Egg Special

“	Sophie: Hi, girls. Are you having a beauty contest and didn't invite me to give the other girls a chance?	”
—And the New Boss

“

Caroline: (holding a ladle filled with soup) Sophie, open your mouth and put this in. Sophie: Come on, now you're as bad as Oleg.

”

“	Sophie: Hi, girls. I got my period. Yeah, I got killer cramp. It's like I got a tractor in my uterus. Caroline: Sophie, we are sorry you are not feeling well. Sophie: Yeah. you know. it's time like this, I think God a b****.	”
—And the High Holidays

“	Sophie: Hi, everybody. Sophie's here! And look at my new coat. It's double-breasted. Oleg: Pretty nice,huh? It was a gift from me. Sophie: It's the only thing he ever gave me that didn't threaten my reproductive health.	”
—And Too Little Sleep

“	Sophie: I just stopped by to get a cupcake to eat on the way to the gym.	”
—Sophie, And Not-So-Sweet Charity

“	Sophie: Uh oh, I think it's getting too real in here for me. I'm gonna go push up my boobs and glue my tooth back on!	”
—Sophie, And Not-So-Sweet Charity

credits from: cutestgnome.tumblr.com

“	Sophie: Remember when Madonna was alive? Those were the good old days.	”
—Sophie, And Not-So-Sweet Charity

“	Max: Oh,Hey Sophie. Sophie: Hey, Max. Oh, spring is in the air. This is the time of year in Poland when the snow would melt, and all our dead relatives would float back to us. Max: I've never been to Europe, but it sounds beautiful.	”
—And the Big Hole

“	Caroline: Max, this is a quiet room. We have to be quiet. Sophie: (speaking very loud) Hey Girls! Oh. I'm getting myself some fancy water. Look they got lemon, orange, and cucumber. Ha! It's like a slot machine over here. Random woman: Shh! Sophie: (throws something to the woman)	”
—And the Tip Slip

“	Sophie: Oleg cheated on me and I'm so (screaming) maaaaaaaaaaad! Oh I have to break things! But everything upstairs in my apartment is too nice! So (breaks something) Run a tab girls! (breaks another) Oh I gotta break more! (breaks plates and Max's happy meal toys) I feel better.	”
—And the Window of Opportunity

Season 3

“	Sophie: Hey girls. What's shaking? Not meat, 'cause I am all held in. Caroline: Sorry Sophie, the cupcake window isn't open during the day. Sophie: I don't need your life story. I just need a damn cupcake. Max: Sophie, do you remember the cat that was crying outside out building? Sophie: Yeah, you put it down? Caroline: We thought it was a stray, so we tried to find a home for it, but we couldn't. Sophie: So you put it down? Max: No! We left it in a really nice neighborhood. Sophie: Oh, so a rich person put it down? Caroline: It turns out it wasn't a stray at all. We just met its owner. This is the cat, Sophie. Her name is Jinxy. Sophie: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! You remember how I told you, that if you die outside in Poland, you come back as a cat? Caroline: Yeah, that's kind of hard to forget. Sophie: Wait, that's not Jinxy.That's my friend Nancy! Look at her! Same green eyes, same notch in the eat, same whiskers. Caroline: Sophie, I don't think that this is Nancy. Sophie: Oh, yeah. She and I got into a big fight, and now she's come back to haunt me. She died waiting an apology from me, and now she's back. Guess what, she's not gonna get it!	”
—And the Kitty Kitty Spank Spank

“	Sophie: Hey girls. Just doing a puzzle and listening to Elvis. You two wan a Mai Tai before get too ty-ty? Max: No, thanks. But speaking of ty-ty, I was hoping I could snag one of your sleeping pills. Sophie: Oh sure, I can hook you up. I never use them. I only need 3 hours of sleep at night and 6 during the day. Come on. Caroline: Sophie, notice anything new? Sophie: Oh, yeah! You planted more new hair on your head. I heard. Caroline: Max, you told her? Max: No, It was on CNN. They led with Syria and then did a solid five on your hair. Sophie: Here we go, pills and spices. Max: You have a spice rack filled with pills? You gotta cook me dinner sometime. Sophie: Let's see. Fish oil, penicillin, amoxicillin ... skittles. Oh, and this is my German pill, in case they release the bomb or I'm ever abandoned in space. Here you go Max. Nighty-night. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna have one too. It's a slumber party! ( She drops her pill ) Oh, oh. Max: Oh, now you got another rack filled with pills. Sophie: Yeah, you know what? Don't wait for me Max. this might be a while. Caroline: Max, do you really need to take that? People do weird things on sleeping pills. My friend Candice Travelsted buttered a wallet and tried to eat it. Max: Don't worry, I don't have a wallet. Sophie: Wait a minute! Is that the sleeping pill, or is that my emergency space pill that kills you? Max: Either way, I will get some shut-eye.	”
—And the Piece of Sheet

“	Sophie: In Poland, I had this little thing that i would like to tickle before I went to sleep, but my aunt threw it away. Caroline: What was it? Sophie: My cousin, Nora.	”
—And the Piece of Sheet

“	Caroline: Oh, it was just Sophie. Sophie: Just Sophie? That was the name of my talk show in Poland. Max: Oh.. How I wish I could be a guest on that show. Sophie: No, they were no guests, it was just Sophie!	”
—And the 'It' Hole

“	Sophie: Yeah, and I get you a big grab bag of condoms. Yup, I got all sizes. I got magnum, I got super magnum, I got regular and, 'He's got a great personality.' Max: Usually the I have great personality is the only birth control I need. Caroline: Thank you but I am a lady and I won't be using these until our third date. Sophie: Well, you better hurry up and get dressed! Caroline: Sophie, I'm already dressed! Sophie: You are?! Caroline: And I like what I am wearing. Sophie: You do?! Well, just put on a little make up. Caroline: I'm fully made up. Sophie: You are?! Well, you know, maybe when you do your hair? Caroline: Okay, I'm a little behind on my hair, my boobs are a bigger project than I thought..	”
—And the 'It' Hole

“	Sophie: Caroline please, I can't hear Han talking about Max okay?	”
—And the First Day of School

“	Sophie: (to Luis) Oh unlimited rides, is that what your tramp stamp say?	”
—And the First Day of School

“	Sophie: (to Caroline) Really, cause you kinda bully us all into it.	”
—And the First Day of School

“	Caroline: "Sophie, on your tax form here, you listed your occupation as 'Sophie'" Sophie: "Yeah, it's a full-time job, baby"	”
—And the Wedding Cake Cake Cake